Pastor Ryan Howell’s Eulogy for Joe
As I came through the line last night, looking at the pictures, reading the notes from friends of Joey, I enjoyed watching the video of pictures. One picture stood out to me, it was a picture of Joey and John in Red Sox gear and it looked like it was taken at Boston Beer Works. The two looked like they were having a great time getting ready to watch a game at Fenway park.
Fenway Park, the iconic Ball Park of the Boston Red Sox. I am not sure how big of a fan Joey was, but in that picture of he and John it looked like it didn’t matter. They were having a great time. I have been to Fenway Park a few times myself. The park is truly iconic. We took our own children then one time to enjoy the smell of the field, the crack of the bat and all the snacks they could eat.
As I thought about that picture, I was reminded that Fenway Park has rules for those watching the game. Do’s and Don’ts so to speak in order to make sure that everyone in attendance has a fantastic evening. They ask you to watch your language, no throwing things onto the field, etc. These rules ensure that all the fans of the game can get the most out of their experience.
This got me thinking. What if we were all playing a game, this game of life. What would the rules be if Joey created the ballpark for this game to be played? What would it look like if we played this game of life not at Fenway, but at Finn-way? Finn-way park is the park that Joey built in his short life. It is the park that you all would visit when you hung out and talked with Joey. It is the park created by the memories of Joey that live on in each of us.
Let’s think for a moment together about what it would like look like if we followed some of the rules of Finn-way. See, I believe that if we all could adopt some of the rules of Finn-way, we would all play the game of life a little better. I actually believe that by playing this game of life the Finn-way, we can make sure that Joey continues to live on in all of us.
What would the rules of Finn-way be?
Rule Number one of playing life at Finn-Way Park: Embrace your hair! Joey’s hair was more than a style, it was a way of life. Be yourself it screamed. Be who God created you to be. Joey embraced his uniqueness. Psalm 139:14 says,
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
Too many people in our world spend all their effort and energy trying to conform to styles and structures that media say we ought to. Joey knew he was wonderfully complex, unique. Joey would want every player at Finn-Way park to embrace, without shame, their uniqueness. God has created each of us as his own masterpiece, not all of us can have such amazing, unique hair, but we can follow Joey’s lead and embrace our uniqueness and stand out in the crowd just a bit.
Rule number two of playing life at Finn-Way Park: Play with Heart! Joey’s family and friends would quickly tell you that Joey had a big heart. He was quick to embrace and befriend you. This week we have heard many stories and read posts sharing that Joey was the first person to welcome so many. Too often, we play this game of life with a lack of heart. We are stuck on our own problems, our own frustrations, our own insecurities. Joey had a side to him that some did not get to see. A side that set aside his own needs for the needs of others. To step onto the field at Finn-way, means you bring heart! You embrace life and you embrace your fellow teammates. When we go through life, welcoming others, making sacrifices, we are playing that game like Joey.
Rule number three of playing life at Finn-Way: Be Kind. Kindness seems like an endangered species these days. From our presidential candidate to our traffic we see a shortage of respect and kindness for one another. Jesus said in Matthew 7:12,
Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
Joey was a kind soul. Joey was a friend who understood how to be kind. Undoubtedly, his life teaches us a way of kindness.
Rule number four of playing the game of life at Finn-Way park: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Joey asked for help. Too often we try to face our battles alone. We allow shame and fear to guide our decisions and rather than humbly asking for help, we go it alone. A few months ago, Joey asked for help and started a process of healing. Tragically, his journey of healing on this earth ended to soon, but it was not for a lack of trying.
Joey would want us to learn the power of asking for help when life feels too heavy to carry ourselves. To play in Finn-Way means we are not allowed to let pride and fear guide our decisions. By allowing honesty and trust to guide us in our times of feeling overwhelmed we honor Joey and follow his great example of reaching out for help.
In John 8:32 Jesus tells us that the truth will set us free. I believe Joey would want us all to hear today this statement from Jesus. I believe we honor his memory when we speak honestly of our struggles and weaknesses to someone we care about.
So, if we look at Joey’s life and imagine what it means to play the game of life on his field, Finn-way park, we know he would have us live by a few rules:
- Embrace your Hair
- Play with Heart
- Be Kind
- Ask for Help
And finally, I believe if we are going to play this game of life on Joey’s field, we must follow the greatest rule of Finn-Way Park: Save one Suffering Soul. In a poem Joey wrote just a few weeks ago, in speaking of his struggle with addiction, he ended the poem with these 4 lines:
- This is for those who are still in Hell
- Even if you are scared, find someone you can tell
- Once I win this fight, I have set a goal
- It is to save at least one suffering soul.
Jesus said in John 15:13, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friend.”
As Joey began his journey towards freedom from his addiction, a journey that ended to soon, he set a goal, that he might help one person suffering in the same way he had.
His goal: One suffering soul saved.
You and I have the opportunity to make sure that Joey’s death is not in vain. We have the chance to make sure that his goal is more than accomplished. While Joey’s death is tragic, heartbreaking, and senseless it does not have to be in vain. The greatest tragedy would be for Joey’s death to be in vain, but we can decide to make sure his goal carries on.
Today, make a commitment before God and this family that you will work to save one suffering soul. Get proximate with someone suffering from addiction. Be present in their suffering, listening, understanding, caring and restoring them. This is what it ultimately means to play life at Finn-Way.
You see, Joey’s death is not in vain if through his death one or ten or one-hundred or ten thousand suffering souls are saved. This is the power of redemption. This is the gospel. That through one man’s death, many can find life.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says,
For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.
I don’t believe that the English language has a word to describe the horribleness of the experience of the death of a child. Today we do what God never intended, mourn the loss of a child. Joey’s life ended far too soon, but his legacy will live on in our lives if we commit to playing the game of life at Finn-way park. Just remember to follow these 5 simple rules:
- Embrace your Hair
- Play with Heart
- Be Kind
- Ask for Help
- Save a suffering soul